M is for Mighty

What are those letters M. S. about?

An MS Sobriety Test

on July 5, 2015

As I mentioned in my last post, we recently moved. In an attempt to get to know our new town, we decided to try a local establishment for our weekly date night. Our GPS dutifully lead us to a quaint little bar and grill tucked away off the beaten path. 

We enjoyed our time there. We heard stories of the famous patrons who had found this little gem in their attempts to escape the hustle and bustle, learned of the history, and enjoyed a great burger. We paid our bill and headed out, trying to decide what we should do next.
I had sipped soda all night, so I gladly took the wheel, although my darling spouse had just one drink with dinner. (Always drink responsibly!)
As we pulled out onto the road, I noticed a police cruiser pull in behind me.
“Any idea what the speed limit is?” I implored. 
“Nope. Maybe 35 or 40?” Was the not so helpful reply.
I plodded along at what should be approximately the speed limit, if a little slow, carefully observing all traffic laws. The officer followed.
As we approached a four way stop, I diligently came to a complete stop, and even sat there for an extra second as we strained to read the street signs in the dark. I proceeded forward, and on came the flashing lights of the officer to our rear. 
Shaking my head, I put down my window and waited. 
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” He asked.
“I have no idea.” I replied, shaking my head.
“In this state, when there is a white line on the road, you must come to a complete stop prior to the white line. Now at this stop sign, there was no white line. That means you must come to a complete stop before the stop sign. The nose of your car was past the stop sign. May I see your license and registration please?”
I was a bit floored by his meticulous explanation, but nodded, and gave him the requested materials. Here is where it gets interesting. “Where are you coming from?” He asked. 
A simple enough question, right? Not when you are new to town, and NOT when MS hinders your ability to find and spit out the correct word at the correct time. 
” I..ah… the uh… Over there at that bar and grill, I forget what it is called…” I stuttered and stumbled. 
He gave me a wary look. “Was it any good?”
“They had good burgers.” (I may have slurred those words.
“Where are you headed now?” he asked.
I paused. We hadn’t really decided. Maybe go to a movie, or find a Redbox? “I….uh….we…uh…downtown.”
The officer kindly left at this point to run my info. He returned with yet another question. “I am going to ask you a question and I want you to be 100% honest with me. Have you had anything to drink tonight?” My heart sank.
“No sir. Nothing at all.” I honestly replied. 
I am going to need you to step out of the car if you don’t mind submitting to a sobriety test. I got out of the car and followed the officer. My heart raced as he shined his flashlight on me and had me follow the movements of his pen for far too long, praying he wouldn’t ask me to walk in a straight line. He asked if I had cataracts, glaucoma, and a slew of other things, but MS wasn’t in the list. Did I think to mention it? Of course not. In true MS form, it occurred to me to mention this nugget of information AFTER he had finished his tests and we were heading back to the car. 
With this new information, he nodded, as if it all finally made sense. 
Clearly, I was going to get pulled over no matter what I did. I am sure it was a routine sobriety check. It had not, however, ever occurred to me that I may not be able to pass while 100% sober! 
As we drove to our new home, discussing the ramifications, I said, “Well, next time I guess I had better ask to take a brelfthalitzer.”  
Yes. An unintentional MS word mutilation. 
Yes, we laughed uncontrollably the rest of the way home.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: